I'm Awake
by Iamdivergent2000
Summary: This story is about the time where Tris was being attacked by the chasm and the scene after but its all in Four's point of view. Rated T because of slight violence :)


I keep thinking about it. About her first simulation test results, I keep thinking about her simulation it targeted her fears, and she was attacked by a bunch of crows. She got out of there in about 3 minutes which is faster than usual, how could she have gotten out so fast? Of course, I already know the answer. I know she's Divergent, like me. I've known it ever since she was the first jumper off the building on the first day of initiation; I was even there to watch her jump. I've kept my eyes on her ever since, I hope no one else has. This information cant get out, or she'll be dead.

I've been in the control room all night just sitting here. Everyone's already in bed. Every time I try and get up, my head replays the scene of Tris when she was in her simulation. She was screaming and crying out for help as the crows attacked her, all I was thinking was that Tris can do it; she'll get out of there. It was tearing me up inside, watching someone suffer; watching her suffer. Why do I care about her so much? I need to stop thinking about her, for her safety I have to. I'm quiet for a moment and think about how this will all turn out, will Tris and I - my thoughts get interrupted by a scream. A girl's scream. I get up almost instantly and start running hard to the door.

Please don't be Tris, I say to myself. My heart pounds and beats faster every step I take. Who could be out this late?

I get to the chasm, I heard the scream there I think. I see 3 or 4 dark figures; luckily the light from the sky helps me see. I examine the scene and I see that Drew is watching two males hang a scrawny girl over the edge. It's Tris. One of them is holding up Tris over the chasm by her throat. Anger quickly fills me inside and I instantly go after Drew and start beating him. He groans and he gets me in the upper lip. He's trying to fight back and lets out a scream, I knock him unconscious. The other two notices and they start running as Tris falls to her death. She lets out a faint scream and I run to her. I look over the chasm thinking that she would be splat on the ground; chills start to build up inside of me.

I look down and she gets me by surprise, we're looking directly at each other. I can see the pain in her eyes, her big light blue eyes. She hung on to the railing. Smart move. She says my name weakly and I quickly reach down and grip her tightly and I get her up. I gather her and put my arms under her knees gently. I have to get her help but I don't trust anyone else to take care of Tris. And I'd rather do it myself. She buries her head into my left shoulder and she's out cold. I don't even look back to see if Drew is okay. Who were the other two? Who else would've wanted to bring pain to Tris? But that answer is obvious. Peter. She ranked highest out of all the initiates for stage 2 of initiation, even the Dauntless born ones. Whoever the other coward was, I don't care. Right now I need to get Tris better.

I carry her to my dorm. She's almost weightless, so small, and so fragile in my arms. I cant let this happen again, I won't be there to save her. She has to learn to defend herself on her own. I quietly run back to my dorm. My thoughts make it seem like I've been running for hours. I hope she didn't wake up yet, I want to be there when she does.

I get back to my dorm and glance at the clock; I took about 45 minutes to get there and back. I take a quick glance at Tris, and she hasn't moved an inch. I head into the bathroom and I'm back to rinsing out the towel. The towel is well beyond clean but I can't seem to move. I'm frozen on this spot just like how I'm stuck in a problem that I think I'll never get out of.

I get back to reality and I notice I've been running the cold water on my hands for about 10 minutes, my hands are freezing. I glance back at Tris again, she moves her head slowly and painfully in my direction but she doesn't notice me. She's finally up, what do I do? I don't want to go to her right away because I don't want to scare her. I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror; I just have a cut on my lip from Drew. I turn off the water and dry my hands. I quickly grab the towel and ice pack and close the bathroom lights. I try and walk towards her calmly, I notice my hearts beating fast.

She gets me so nervous I don't know why. She looks up at me and our eyes meet.

"Your hands," she croaks out.

Her Abnegation is showing, she is showing. Knowing how Tris is, she is worried about me more than herself even after everything she's been through. I love that about her. I quickly dismiss her worries and reply back.

"My hands are none of your concern."

My hands are so cold they're deadly pale, I would be worried about them too if I were her. I gently rest myself beside her and lean closer to her to slip the icepack gently under her head. Before I can pull away she reaches out to touch to side of my lip where Drew got me. I'm so close to her I can feel her breathing, I don't want to move. Her soft fingers touch my cut and I break the silence.

"Tris, I'm alright". I try to reassure her.

That won't convince her but I try anyways.

"Why were you there?" She asks and her hand drops from my cut. Of course she'll want to know what happened, so I tell her the truth.

"I was coming back from the control room, I heard a scream." I reply back. I wasn't actually coming back from the control room; I probably wouldn't have even gotten up if I hadn't heard a scream, her scream.

"What did you do to them?" She asks.

"I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago."

I remember what Drew was trying to say to me now and I repeat it to Tris.

"Peter and Al ran, Drew claimed they were just trying to scare you. At least think that's what he was trying to say."

"He's in bad shape?" She asks.

"He'll live," I reply back. I beat him pretty hard though. "In what condition, I can't say." I add bitterly.

Al. Who would've known he was after Tris? I can tell she's angry about all of this because she squeezes my forehand tightly.

"Good." She says fiercely.

She starts crying suddenly. I pull my arm free from her tight grasp and rest my hand on the side of her face and skim her cheek bones with my thumbs carefully, she's so warm against my cold fingers. I hope this comforts her.

"I could report this, you know" I say. I already know that she wouldn't want me too report this because this would make her seem weak or scared to the others. I ask anyways.

"No, I don't want them to think I'm scared." I nod in agreement and my hands start acting of their own accord, stroking her cheeks.

"I knew you would say that." I reply with a smile. She doesnt like showing weakness.

"You think it's a bad ida if I sit up?"

"I'll help you." I reply.

I grip her shoulders with one hand and hold her head with my other hand as she pushes herself up. She tries to hide her pain but gives out a quiet groan.

"You can let yourself be in pain, it's just me here." I reassure her.

I wish I could say the things I said when she was unconscious now, but I decide to not and just hand her the ice pack. She bites her lip and tears start running down her face again. I say and do nothing. All the pain she was holding back from the day she chose Dauntless is coming out right now.

She's been strong since day one and I almost forgot about the pain people hold back in Dauntless. Do the other initiates cry like this when they're alone? Do the other Dauntless leaders cry? I don't. I've learned to hold in my tears and try to forget about the pain. No more tears come out, she settles down and Ibreak the silence.

"I suggest you rely on your transfer friends to protect you from now on," I say.

I won't be there to protect her.

"I thought I was," she replies.

She presses her hand to her forehand and rocks herself back and forth; I could tell she was thinking about Al's betrayal. Al was one of the people she thought she could trust, I even trusted him with her too. She lets out a little cry.

"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation," I say softly.

"He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason." I add.

This is true though, she looked like such a weak little girl from Abnegation, a Stiff. She started off as a weak little girl; at least on the outside it seemed like it. She was way stronger than anyone would think. Way smarter too. No one would've thought she would make it this far in initiation, except for me. I knew she had Dauntless potential ever since she jumped off the building. She just nods.

"The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real" I say. She's too strong to show vulnerability, when she's hurt she never shows it. But in this case she has too.

She raises an eyebrow at me and asks, "You think I have to pretend to be vulnerable?"

"Yes I do," I reply.

I take the icepack from her, my fingers brushing on hers and I hold the icepack to her head. She puts her arm down and I readjust myself closer to her. I'm just an instructor to her, I'm just an instructor to her, I say in my head; but honestly I don't know what I am to her or what she is to me.

"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you, but let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down". I say firmly. I'm back to her instructor.

"I don't think I can." she says as she lifts her head and our eyes meet.

"You have to". I say.

"I don't think you get it", she says bitterly.

"They touched me".

My entire body tightens at her words. I clench my hands tightly around the icepack, cracking the ice hiding inside. The thought of someone touching Tris fills me with anger.

"Touched you", I repeat bitterly.

"Not . . . in the way you're thinking," she clears her throat.

"But . . . almost". She adds.

I look away from her. I fall silent and hatred runs through me. She was outnumbered by the 3 males, both bigger than her. This all reminds me of my past; this all reminds of my dad.

I left him and chose dauntless 2 years ago but I still remember it clearly. I don't think that memory will

ever leave me, ever.

"What is it?" She finally asks. I've been quiet for so long, I even forgot she was here.

"I don't want to say this, but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?" I say changing the subject. I don't want to go into personal things about me, not yet. Not here. She thinks about it for a while and nods.

"But please, when you see an opportunity . . ." I press my hand to her cheek and I tilt her head up so our eyes meet again.

"Ruin them," I say sternly. She gives out a laugh.

"You scare me a bit Four," she replies.

I give a quick smile but I quickly go back into a serious tone.

"Do me a favor . . . and don' t call me that," I say.

"What should I call you then?" She asks.

"Nothing," I take my hand from her face.

"Yet." I add. Those are my last words to her.

I wish she knew me, the real me. Four is the name they gave me when I came here. This isnt a good time to tell her my real self so my words are left unsaid, again.

That night I let her sleep in my dorm. She's too weak to move, and she wouldn't want to sleep in the same dorm as her attackers. Plus, I don't want her to go. I never want her to leave. It feels better to know she's safe right beside me. Tris being by my side right now reminds me of how it felt like to have the company of another person. It's been two years. It feels just like the night we were on the Ferris wheel; so peaceful. I was so scared while we were climbing the Ferris wheel, her presence calmed me down.

Time passes by and the room is dead silent. I can tell shes still awake, on the other hand I'm half sleeping and half-awake; im exhausted, falling deeper and deeper asleep every breath I take.

Goodnight, Stiff.

**So tell me, you like? And if so, check out my story "Who am I". Its about divergent. **

**Review! I love those!**

**IAD2000**


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